Gentill, Sulari - The Woman in the Library by Gentill Sulari

Author:Gentill, Sulari [Gentill, Sulari]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2022-04-26T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nineteen

The decision to return to the library early the next morning is made in desperation and frustration. I need to work. Cain is still not picking up and, in the apartment, I’m tempted to try again repeatedly, to think about him and nothing else.

When things get stuck, change the scene.

And so I go back to where it all began, reset to a time before I met Whit and Marigold and Cain, before we heard a young woman die. I cast my eyes upwards and anchor myself in the magnificent vaulted ceiling of the Reading Room, determined to make that my memory of this place.

But Heroic Chin, Freud Girl, and Handsome Man look out at me from my own manuscript. Most of all Handsome Man. The bus is crowded now, so much so that I can’t see who’s driving it. Handsome Man sits in the back, behind Shaun Jacobs. Perhaps he is, as Whit says, innocent. Wrongly accused, wrongly convicted. God, I hope so. I remember what it was like to kiss him and, when I think about it, I believe completely that he is innocent. And in my manuscript he can be. Perhaps it’s time for my Handsome Man to diverge from his inspiration.

And yet I’m not ready to leave Cain behind, to remove him from my manuscript or my story.

I step out at midday because I’m vexed and hungry. I don’t feel like going to the Map Room on my own, and so I head out in search of a pretzel vendor. The cold hits me like a wall the moment I leave the building. The temperature has plummeted in the time I’ve been inside. The clouds are a vague green colour.

“It’s going to snow.”

I turn sharply. Cain.

“Hello, Freddie.”

My voice comes on the second attempt. “How did you know where I was?”

“I went by your place first, and since then I’ve been looking for you. This was my third guess.”

“You’ve just got here?”

“No, I saw that you were in the Reading Room. I was waiting for you to come out.”

“Why? Why didn’t you simply come in?”

“I thought we should talk… We can’t really do that in the Reading Room.”

I say nothing.

“Freddie…you’re not afraid of me, are you?”

I’m not sure what to say, or how I feel.

“Should I be?”

The first flakes of snow fall, large and soft and wet. I begin to shiver.

He raises his hand and then pulls back without touching me. I am relieved and disappointed.

“How about we go and have lunch…somewhere warm…and public? And I can explain.”

I nod. “Somewhere close; I’m freezing.”

We find a diner in Copley Place and take a booth. We order hot chocolate and pancakes like any other couple. And we eat and drink and talk about the snow. I am aware that despite everything, I am happy to be with him.

“I’ve been calling you,” I say.

“They police took my phone again, Freddie. They let me go at midnight.”

“They arrested you?”

“No. They just held me for questioning.”

“Why?”

“I found Boo’s body.”

“And you have a history.

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